not promoting the killing of women but…

not promoting in anyways the killing of women but if some of wunna hot pussy whores keep wunna foot shut might b living now

A former schoolmate of mine has posted his wisdom on how women in Barbados can avoid being murdered by former or current intimate partners.

Another woman has been killed.  A 22 year-old who loved her family, her two year-old daughter, whose baby sister just became a mom.  A mothering worker like so many other Caribbean women who supported her family while furthering her education. And who loved make-up.  A complex woman like all women.  A woman with a right to be. A right to a good life. Her name is Krystal.  A name chosen with much love and care.

We continue to fail women.  We continue to offer excuses and justifications for their murders.

She had a new man.

She mussee tek de man money.

Yuh want soldier man money? Tek soldier man blows!

She did horning he.

Women does provoke men.

Now the police are reporting that the majority of perpetrators of domestic violence in Barbados are non-nationals. Xenophobia masking misogyny.

The violence won’t end till the hatred of women ends. The violence won’t end till we stop blaming schoolgirls for men’s decisions to rape them. The violence won’t end till we end it. We all have to look deep inside ourselves and unlearn those lessons about the relative value of women and men, about what it means to be a man or woman, about love and what it looks like, about what kind of fate is waiting for us “hot pussy whores”, about whose lives are dispensable.

Let us remember the women murdered in Barbados this year in acts of gruesome, public violence. Let us honour their lives by choosing to do the daily work to unlearn harmful gender ideologies. Wherever we are, whoever we are we can choose to work toward transforming our societies. We can start by speaking up when the men and women in our lives seek to rationalise violence against women. We can tell them violence is never justified.  We owe at least this much to the women who should still be with us, to their families, to their children, to ourselves.

For

Kimberley Hinds, 24

Brenda Belle, 64

Denise Clarke, 41

Caroline Forde 49

Linda Tull

Krystal Lovell, 22

Short Film on Domestic Violence By Barbados’ Business & Professional Women’s Club

A short film on domestic violence and the healing process assisted by the Business and Professional Women’s Club (BPW Barbados) There is some where to go for help. Call 246-435-8222.

Thanks to the wonderful BPW women for sharing this video!

Love as Violence, Violence as Love

Caribbean media have framed two recent stories about “domestic violence” as “love stories”.

Nation News Barbados begins its its story about a man who shot a woman in her head, leaving her blind in one eye with “MICHAEL GODDARD knows how it feels to love so strongly that you are pushed to the limits to commit the ultimate crime.”

The story goes on to say that he attributes his premeditated violence against his former girlfriend to “lack of communication from both of us”.

That a man could seek to have his partner share in the responsibility of waylaying and attempting to execute her demonstrates what  researchers in the Caribbean and elsewhere have documented: that in talking about their violence against women, men who commit acts of violence often distance themselves from the violence, refuse to take responsibility and hold their partners responsible for the violence (and are particularly silent on the sexual violence they commit). For example, researcher Raquel Sukhu of Trinidad & Tobago concludes

In all cases, the men presented negative assessments of their female partners, and women in general, and where isolated incidents of physical abuse were acknowledged, the women were blamed, the extent of injury minimized, and men’s responsibility denied or the violence was justified by her prior actions. I concluded that each one was violent, despite their protests and denials, as a result of triangulation of sources of data and methods of data collection. The men demonstrated, despite their claims to ‘‘not thinking’’ and ‘‘not remembering,’’ the intention to cause harm to their partners and engaged in goal-oriented violence. Typically, incidents of violence are characterized by the men as accidents, happening in the heat of the moment, and not intended to cause harm. Simultaneously,
however, these incidents are seen as justified in light of the actions of the woman. While it was difficult to obtain admissions of specific incidents of violence from the men, their overall accounts reflected this feeling of justification of their actions as we will clearly see in the excerpts.

In another recent story from Guyana, a 19 year-old man was killed by his 38-year-old step uncle who also attacked and injured the young man’s girlfriend.  This story was also framed by the media as a love story. While the article itself suggests that the young man was in fact stalked by his step uncle, previously attacked by him and possibly sexually abused  the report still referred to the relationship as “a love affair” and the victim as the “lover” of the man who killed him.

Both reports use love and jealousy as a rationale for murder as does Goddard in his interview. The media’s recourse to a love story framing suggests that this is a logic that is shared by or at least intelligible to the public.  Love and violence go hand in hand. “Love” allows men who commit violence to distance themselves from that violence and hold their partners responsible for it.

Often when domestic violence is talked about you hear very little about love beyond the oft-repeated “some women believe that if he don’t beat me he don’t love me.” Perhaps we need to examine love more closely and figure out just why our understanding of love encompasses ownership, violence and coercion. What role does “love” play in child sexual abuse and early sexual initiation in the Caribbean? What  do we mean by love and do women and men, boys and girls have different understandings of love? What is the relationship between love and relations of power based on gender, age etc? Is love itself  a relation of power?

 

Guyana government supports Chris Brown concert with tax breaks, anti-violence activists cry foul

Guyanese social justice advocates reject the government’s support of Chris Brown concert.

According to Stabroek News

The government on Thursday announced that it will be giving tax breaks for the concert, which is organised by Hits & Jams Entertainment, and acting Minister of Tourism Irfaan Ali praised the expected appearance of Brown and said his presence at the concert will be a pull factor for persons to Guyana.

Some activists have argued that Chris Brown should be allowed to perform but the proceeds from the concert should go towards support mechanisms for survivors of intimate partner violence. Others recognise his “right” to perform in Guyana but question the use of tax payer dollars to support his performance.

Some activists have taken issue with the irony that the Chris Brown concert will coincide with 16 days of Activism Against Gender-based violence:

when Chris Brown arrogantly struts on to the stage in December, the nation – being led by the government – will just be wrapping up their annual 16-Day Campaign Against Violence, which begins on November 25, International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women and ends on December 10, Human Rights Day,”

What do you think? Is the Guyana government misguided in supporting the Chris Brown concert?

Is the “decision to bring Chris Brown to entertain Guyana is a slap in the face to every single victim of
domestic violence in country”, as journalist & feminist activist Stella Ramsaroop described it?

Should the organisers of the concert use it as an activity to increase awareness about intimate partner violence and use the proceeds to lend tangible support to the fight against violence against women?

Reports of domestic violence in Guyana, as in many other parts of the region, are frequent and gruesome, with women making up the majority of intimate partner homicides (femicides). 

For an extended commentary on why Guyanese activists reject governments financial support of the Chris Brown concert please read Vidyaratha Kissoon’s letter to the editor.

Edited to add:  it has been reported that Chris Brown’s criminal record prevents him from working in the UK.

What’s in a name?

I felt very frustrated yesterday when someone told me that to say “violence against women” is discriminatory, that it should be called “relationship violence”.  I tried to point out that intimate partner violence is only one kind of violence against women.  There are a range of gendered ways in which women are targeted for violence, not all of which are “domestic”.  Erasing the language feminists have invented to describe the harms women disproportionately face is an attempt at silencing women.

I recognise that some kinds of feminism render women as innocent, always already victims and men as always already abusers.  Reality, of course, is much more complex.  Women are not innocent.  Women are not victims.  Men are not invulnerable to violence from other men and yes, from women.  Many feminists are naming as gendered-based violence men’s violence towards each other.  The kind of violence which makes many boys afraid to go to school, which causes many of them to arm themselves and which claims the lives of many, many young Caribbean men.

Gender ideologies structure the lives of both women and men.  Men and women produce and reproduce gender in their everyday lives.  Both women and men therefore have a stake in ending unequal and harmful relations of gender.

WomenSpeak is running a series of profiles to mark the 16 Days of Activism against Violence Against Women.  CODE RED got in on the action with a quick interview with one of Barbados’ feminist activists.  In Barbados, murders of women by their male intimate partners typically account for nearly half of all murders.

Have a look…